Midnight had pasted twenty minutes ago and it’s now officially Christmas and yet I don’t feel any sense of the holiday spirit wash over me. In fact for the last couple of weeks I’ve been in a state of depression and now this depression has sifted to lackadaisical. The holiday’s have always left me feeling melancholy, but this year it’s become a lot more dreary for me. Most of it has to do with the lack of finding a new job, and the pressures I’m getting in find a job hasn’t helped my state of mind either. This whole year hasn’t been in what I call the best of times. So much crap that’s transpired this year most of it all leading up to nothing. I can’t wait to say my so longs to this carptactular year.
Another thing that’s made me so blue is that I had my hopes up in attending the Christmas eve service at my church today. I went last year and it was great I was actually happy on Christmas for once. Well what happened this year was that a friend of my (who’d went with me last year) was unable couldn’t go because she was spending Christmas with her mother. I asked two people if they wanted to go, and I pretty much got the same story they all had something to do. Some good fortune did come my way on Tuesday when I got a message on my facebook page from this couple I meet at the church. The two were planning on attending the service and as luck would have it they were willing to give me a left. Now I had something to look forward to for Christmas Eve. When the day finally arrived I had pretty much everything ready and I was so psyched to go. Then I got a call from one of them telling me that they won’t be able to attend the service. Now I’m back to where I started, back to my depressive state, holiday’s blow.
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